President #22

President William McKinley ran on a platform of either being really for silver or really against silver. I honestly can't tell. Or rather I don't care to tell. There was a depression in the 1890's? Crazy. I guess. And it involved tariffs and virulent arguments over coins? So boring. Honestly, try to work your way through this. He did make a fun little war on Spain for 100 days, even though he didn't want to. And guess what? We got Puerto Rico! USA! USA! Which, and it goes without saying, has been a victory that's been paying off in spades.

He ran twice against William Jennings Bryant, a democrat. Bryant, who I've depicted mutating out of McKinley's chest there, ran a third time at some point, never winning. He was the Bad News Bears of boring ass late nineteenth century politics. After beating Bryant a second time, McKinley had the misfortune of being assassinated. I think its probable that after hearing the news, Bryant thought to himself, "Crap! That should have been me!!!"

Oh and one more thing on Bryant. It just seems so awesome that the perennial golden boy of the Democratic party spent his days pushing for prohibition and whole heartedly fighting evolution. So, it seems to me the party has held a steady course over the years.  After winning at the famous Scopes trial, Bryant high fived his bros, signed a few Bibles, wrote "F- YEAH on Darwin's office wall, and died five days later.

One thing he and McKinley had in common? A free Mars. With their plentiful Martian silver.

Head Case clip

It's Heartwarming To Be Amazed That an Ugly Person Can Do Something!