President #43

What can you say about President Benjamin Harrison? Eh.

His grandpa was President William Henry Harrison, which probably got it into Ben's head that he could become President as well, but while Willy's nickname was "Ol' Tippecanoe" (which I'm betting came from a really awesome Cabinet Retreat out on the lake), Ben's nickname was the "Human Iceberg." Which is fitting, because as far as I can tell, he's also the Captain of the Titanic.

He did eventually win the election, even though he had 100,000 votes less than his opponent, which is a lot, considering there were only like 5,000 Americans at the time. It was the olden days.

He graduated from the University of Miami of Ohio, the college that tricks hundreds of incoming freshmen every year into thinking they're going to have 4 killer years of sun and beaches and drug-fueled frat ragers, only to discover that they should have read their entrance applications a little closer. Welcome to Amish country, kids. Class starts at 7.

Harrison's biggest political fights while in office were over the issue of tariffs. Screw that. I'm not reading that part of the Wikipedia entry. Boring.

One article blames a big part of his defeat in the next election on Benjamin's wife dying. Apparently this distracted him a bit. Wow. Sorry, America. Sorry he wasn't more fully present for your political bickering while burying his WIFE. That's why I'm glad the last few presidents had really healthy, young wives, attractive wives, full of life women who you know would just rock your world if you had like 5 minutes alone with them, athletic and delicate and passionate and sensual and dominating when you want them to be, with that skin, that perfect perfect skin... wait. What was my point? Hmmm. Oh yeah. Ben. What can you say about Benjamin Harrison?

He then married his dead wife's niece, who was thirty years younger. So... Yeah.

President Benjamin Harrison by Barak Hardley