I make a firm stance against Fios.

Honestly I'm not sure what Fios is, but I memorized some very convincing facts about it.  The guy in the doggy door is named Mike and he's the guy in all the post office ads. Sorry, ladies. He's married.

Also, they did this whole thing with a dog that was supposed to attack him at the end. They had this crazy lady straight out of Best In Show feeding this dog 100 treats a minute trying to get him to jump on Mike's face and growl. No such luck. He just kind of kept jumping up at the treats and wagging his tail, with Mike crammed uncomfortably into this tiny door for six hours. I just wandered around the whole time, blind. I really should buy some contacts.

My art in the Submarines' new video

President #35