All You See- J. Tillman
Got Nuffin- Spoon
Heart Skipped a Beat- The XX
Heroes and Villains- Brian Wilson
My Body’s a Zombie For You- Dead Man’s Bones
The Re-Arranger- Mates of State
Backseat- Carina Round
Action- Clem Snide
Flagpole Sitta- Harvey Danger
Love Is Only Sleeping- The Monkees
Changed Your Mind- Chris Isaak

Made this my first year in LA, when I was naive and hopeful. I’m much more mature now; naive and hopeful and with decent representation.

The song is by the best band ever, The Daylights. Song used without permission. Eat it, Daylights.

Going up to the Slamdance Film Festival next week where they’re premiering a film I’m in. Here’s the preview… (Oh, and it has the f word in it, mom. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

(My first president came about when I had maybe one drink and drew Lincoln in photoshop. You can see it here. Now that I’ve done a bunch more, I wanted to do it again, hence….)

A piece of campaign literature once incorrectly claimed that Abraham Lincoln was so super self-educated that he read the writings of first century Roman historian Plutarch for fun, though he had never read them. Since he was such an upright guy, and not wanting to be thought of as a liar, he naturally went right to the first century historian bookstore down the street and proceeded to read them all.

So basically you could claim Lincoln had done something, and in his quest for integrity would proceed to do it. With that realization I will now claim things and expect Abe to rise from the dead and prove me wrong.

1) Lincoln once fought Bill O’Rielly in Madison Square Gardens. He threw the fight in the third.

2) Lincoln drank a gallon of milk in three minutes and then ate a box of saltines and whistled.

3) Lincoln gave me $400 and told me I didn’t need to repay it.

4) Lincoln once gave a long lecture to Andy Dick about proper behavior and etiquette and turned that young man around.

5) Lincoln found out how Lost was going to end and totally spread it over the internet, ruining it for everyone.

6) Lincoln went to the Ford corporation and politely asked they take his name off their cars. Except for the Navigators, which he said were badass.

7) Lincoln once danced with Elizabeth Shue, real slow, real sensual. And then told me all about it later, high-fiving the whole time.

8) Lincoln totally powned some Generals on Modern Warfare 2 like it was NOTHING.

9) Lincoln appeared in a series of commercials as the Kool-Aid man, painted entirely red and bursting through walls.

10) Lincoln once parachuted into Kandahàr and settled some shit.

Balls in your court, Abraham.

And now, Lincoln getting shot by Jack Ruby:

I’ve made more stencil pieces based off this quote from Brennan Manning. If you’re interested in one, let me know. barakportfolio@gmail.com. They are $200, plus shipping.

Eight months before the world economy had its worst crash in human history, and a year or so before most of the dirt in America decided to take some time off from growing food, Herbert Hoover was elected president. Up until that point he had done a pretty proficient job at the kicking-of-ass and taking-of-names part of life.

After both his parents decided to die when he was nine, Herb took his GED, which at that time involved holding a full time job and then going to school at night. He became the first student at Stanford, which must have been nice, not having older upperclassman hazing him and selling him elevator passes. He got a degree in geology and promptly started digging holes in Australia and China. I believe they were called mines.

While in China the Boxer Rebellion broke out, and even though I know its not accurate, I still like to think of Sugar Ray and James “Clubber” Lang running around punching everyone. In reality it was people with guns. Herb took it upon himself to just about quell the whole thing and solve several humanitarian crises as he saved the lives of innocent babies. No big deal for a geology major.

After those hi-jinx, he decided he would slow it down and just become a successful inventor, entrepreneur, and universally admired public servant. Then came the big crash, caused by (based on my knowledge of the 20’s) the stock market, flapper girls, Al Capone, speakeasies, prohibition and Tommy guns.

Even though Hoover fought hard to battle the growing depression swallowing up the world, he refused to let government carry the responsibility, instead insisting that the people themselves lead the way, through their own generosity in their communities and volunteerism. He believed the people could rise above their circumstances and altruistically help others, just as he had time and time again, like his days in China.

And there lies the greatest failure of Herbert Hoover, believing that everyone was just like him. Sober and responsible and good.

They are not. They are more like me. Lazy and distracted, waiting for some organization to come solve all the problems of the world, and desperately wanting a drink to help forget it all.

A little dumb thing with Nick Thune. And I guess Brandon Dickerson would want a directing credit.