when sounding like A, like neighbor and weigh.
And generally many many other instances, such as “weird.”
And atheist. And seize.
Leisure. Either. Sheik.
Deity. Codeine.
Einstein.
Counterfeit.
Theism.
Foreign. Receipt.
Perceive.
Height.
Caffeine.
Seizures.
Leisure. Kaleidoscope.
Protein.
Forfeit.
Rottweiler.
Seismograph.
Inconceivable.
Screw it.

It’s hanging in Lindsay’s place.

Hey! Here is something I made for Molly Jenson, a super unbelievable, lovely, totally rad friend of mine who makes wonderful music. She is great. Please please visit her myspace or website and buy all of her awesome music. i think she’s playing Hotel Cafe very soon if you live in LA.

I’m pretty proud of this. A big JOB WELL DONE goes out to Noah Lamberth (Director of Photography and “Hank Floyd” genius) for shooting the thing.

I hope you LOVE MOLLY.

Lindsay already described this as “meh.” I like it.

I need to come up with some new stuff for We Are Loved. It’s been a while. Here’s something I made up earlier….

I made this about a year ago when I was messing around with stop motion and don’t think it’s on the site anywhere. I just found a ton of polaroids in some boxes so part 2 might be coming up soon. Hope you like it.

President Zachary Taylor loved working them cotton fields. Check that- he loved his 100 slaves working them cotton fields. He was briefly distracted from his first love by a quick 40 years killing Indians and Mexicans. He ended up picking up a couple other loves along the way: nationalism, Whiggery (it’s a phrase. I don’t know what it means, but I’m assuming it has something to do with most of the guys I graduated with in Tampa Bay.) and apparently being generally sloppy.

He was only President for about a year, due to his forgetting to live. The big legacy he managed achieved came just a few days before when threatened literally murdering any southerner who wanted to secede. Which was an awful classy move from a gentleman who, as I stated earlier, OWNED A HUNDRED SLAVES. It was during those wonderful days when people weren’t necessarily opposed to enslaving other people, but rather would go to WAR over the issue of states’ rights. Which seems to be the moral equivalent of arresting rapists not so much because of the rape, but a strong stance against dresses being torn.

Eleven dead years later, the Civil War erupted and Taylor’s kid was a general for the south. Crazy rebellious teens.

So, I’m not sure if you’ve heard of this Obama guy yet. Apparently some Kenyan runs our country or something. I’m not sure. I don’t listen to the news.

I showed this watercolor a couple weeks ago to my roommate Brad (hereforth known as Roommatebrad) and asked him what he thought. He replied that he thought it was good, “but the mouth looks kind of wonky on the left side.” At which point I realized he has never looked at my website, which is full of generally wonky recreations of presidents. This hurts my feelings. So, Roommatebrad, to prove my point, if you read this sentence and respond to it in the next 3 months and show you give a darn about your best bud Barak, I will owe you a dollar. An American dollar. On top of all the other dollars I owe you.

Oh, and as a snarky political comment: It’s kind of funny how a ton of people spent 8 years coming to the conclusion that you should never put your hopes in a politician and then did just that. OOH BURN I GOT YOU GOOD ZING!!

My family had a set of Time Life books all about the Wild West. I think they were given away at some point after I left home. I found one of the books from the series years later at a thrift store and snapped it up.

There’s something about looking at the faces of these grizzled old men, the kids trying to look tough, clutching their rifles. Photos of young men with the noose around their throats, waiting the minutes to their execution by some forgotten sheriff. This was how they chose to use their brief time here, riding and fighting. I guess I don’t understand. It’s one thing to sing about being something like that when you’re listening to Bon Jovi. It’s another to actually live as one.

What do I know? They have their picture in a Time Life book, and here I am staring and wondering if I should throw some orange into their violet beards. Think someone will do that for us in a hundred and fifty years? I guess those condemned men achieved a greater effect with their time than I will.

Shot this with some funny guys, who are making this series about guys hunting illegal Canadians in LA. The two best parts were shooting this fake machine gun next to a power plant without getting arrested and walking around my street with two guys wearing ICE outfits. I’m sure my all-immigrant-neighborhood was completely comfortable with that.

BTW, that’s Chris Marrs, who was in my Microsoft fighting commercial. Watch all of the series. They are GREAT!

Ronald Reagan helped lead the fight to rout out communists from the Screen Actor’s Guild. He decided to test out his President-being and Pinko-hating skills there first.

His 69th day in office, he ducked behind a bullet proof car door to avoid a bullet, but it still ricocheted around the door and hit him in the chest. Reagan basically shrugged it off, apparently still playing the role as the resilient western sherriff from one of his 53 movies. “Pardon me ma’am, but I ain’t got time to bleed. I gots to lower taxes while increasing the defense budget while cutting social spending.” James Brady was never an actor. He remains paralyzed.

Basically Ronny is the reason we’re not all still doing duck-and-cover-from-the-nuclear-holocaust drills, but also the reason thoroughly crazy people are wandering around asking us for all our damn change.

The little bio I read on Calvin Coolidge confused me. It made a bunch of negative things seem like pretty chill quirks. The guy never talked, ever. He LOVED the status quo, and would say things like, “I love the status quo.” Not really the platform of change we’ve come to enjoy.

The thing I find crazy is that, right at the end of his sitting there quietly doing nothing, the Great Depression hit. The bio apparently didn’t find it necessary to include just a dash of context. Yes, Cal, you rocked the 20’s. The 30’s? Not so much.

He also seemed to want farmers to suck it. I haven’t studied this too deeply, but seeing as how the dust bowl happened right after Coolidge bid adieu, I’m thinking he maybe shouldn’t have vetoed everything that came across his desk marked “food makers.”

Some guy asked me to draw a bunch of drawings, and then didn’t want them. Said they weren’t “Cartoonish” enough.  So here, you guys can have them. Put them on your blogs or Twitter or Hotmail accounts or GeoCity pages or whatever. Everybody can use them but the guy who wanted them. Here, let me put this here, just in case: ©2009 Barak Hardley and Not That One Guy.

Oh yeah, on another note, I talked to Donald Miller and the designs I worked on will not be on the cover for his new book. But I’m still hopefully going to be doing some illustrations for inside of it.

And now onto the unwanted art!

Headed up to the bay for an improv show with Chip and Joe.