I directed some very talented people.

Sometimes good games go bad.

Starring Chris Masterson, Arielle Vandenberg, Ginger Gonzaga and me.

Shot by Adam Dubowsky. Written, directed and edited by me.

I’m sure this will be a huge internet meme in three days, but wow. Wow. Basil Marceaux.

First, I watched this video.

Yessir, that’s a man with vision. Then I did some research and found his site really backs it up, basilmarceaux.com. Yep, everything seems to be in order. Not a single crazy notion! Perfect website design!

BUT WAIT! What’s this? His SON is running for something too?! basilmarceauxjr.com! And he’s just as crazy? Outstanding! A father/son team cleaning up Washington. Or wherever.

But don’t let me sway you. Just watch Basil say what he means, not in tiny sound bites from the liberal news channel, but in his own words in lengthy 7-minute videos. By which I mean he doesn’t say a single word. ENJOY and I’ll see you at the polling booth!

www.youtube.com/basilmarceaux

Follow Joe Hartzler at http://joehartzler.squarespace.com

Home- Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
Good Day- Jukebox the Ghost
Rogue Machine- The Daylights
I’m So Tired- The Beatles
The Rain- The Swell Season
November Rain- Guns N’ Roses
Seaweed- Fruit Bats
California Stars- Billy Bragg & Wilco
Cherry- Ratatat
Jolene- Ray LaMontagne
I’m Not In Love- 10cc

All You See- J. Tillman
Got Nuffin- Spoon
Heart Skipped a Beat- The XX
Heroes and Villains- Brian Wilson
My Body’s a Zombie For You- Dead Man’s Bones
The Re-Arranger- Mates of State
Backseat- Carina Round
Action- Clem Snide
Flagpole Sitta- Harvey Danger
Love Is Only Sleeping- The Monkees
Changed Your Mind- Chris Isaak

My super talented friend Josh Forbes directed this video, and I got to make the russian nesting dolls for it. I think the video turned out amazing. Also, the girl from the band is deathly afraid of snakes. I almost learned that the hard way.

Yeah, I’m never going to finish this. Feel free to take a crack at the next part and send it to me…

Deet was a robot. He was made four feet tall, so that his owners didn’t feel intimidated by his metal alloy frame. There was actually a lot of thought put into his design in that respect. The engineers sat through many day-long meetings, and each morning they started with the same premise: Let’s make something very special, but let’s make it in such a way that no one will really know how special it really is. Especially the thing itself.

Everyone likes to feel superior, it’s just human nature. And if you’re going to buy a $300,000 robot, you better not have to feel silly standing next to it. No, happy customers like to feel they can push their android products around, even if the android has an IQ of 950 and can squat thrust an ambulance.

So Deet was designed with the very best wiring and mechanical guts science could assemble, crammed into a delicate four-foot body, then given a pale yellow coat of hardened acrylic paint. Artists had sculpted his face to have a weak, sloping chin and added a stooped back. His eyes could see a pine needle at ten miles, but were covered by a shiny epoxy layer that added a glassy, silly look which one magazine called “the gaze of a dull child, quite possibly the effect of prenatal drinking on the part of the robotic mother.”

The height of twenty thousand professional’s talents and three billion dollars in research, Deet felt akin to an iron.

Sitting at night in a cupboard, plugged into the outlet, he hummed a song he had heard in the assembly plant. He didn’t know the words but there was something about the melody that was sweet and sad. “Da dee da dum, de dum, Lay la dum.” It made him feel something. It was vague and warm and unexpected, and he couldn’t quite say what it was he felt, but he found the song lovely. He would hum for an hour or so, and then click off into hibernate mode.

And so it was, crouched under the counter and humming lay la dum, that the cat found Deet.

Brad Garrett is my best friend now.  Or at least at one point at the end of the shoot I mumbled, “Nice to meet you” and awkwardly shook his hand as he was leaving. That counts as BFF’s right?

Today on the 10 I caught this license plate.

It intrigued me, enough to race through traffic to illegally take a photo of it. So subtle, so mysterious. Whatever could it mean? Here are my three best guesses. What am I missing here?

Plausible, but she didn’t really look like Spike Lee.

Don’t get me wrong, they are GREAT. Medieval Snuggies. But why would you need more than one?!?

Not likely. If the lady is classy enough to drive an Impala, I doubt she’d be proud of her shaving mistakes.

I don’t know. None of these seem like valid enough loves to declare on your government issued car ID. Lady, you got me. You got me. Any ideas?

I sold it to ol Ran Jackson, and I regret it. But he and his brother let me sleep on their couch for a couple months when I first moved to town. What I’m saying is, he unfairly pressured me with kindness and helping me when I really needed it and paid me for my art. What a jerk. DON’T check out their ridiculously good new song on their myspace.

acrylic, 16″ x 20″, click to enlarge.

Yeah, that’s right, I hosted the Best Supper Ever. Check them out here at thebseclub.com. It was fun. I packed up Lauren and headed downtown, to a place I had only heard of. Was not impressed. My code name is “Boobar,” FYI.
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So I have embarked on a life long journey. Something to fill the hours until the sweet, cold embrace of eternity clutches into my side. Taking photos of ceramic Tweetie Birds.

Here are my first three, of what I assume will be thousands. I have given them a light watermark because I know once this trend has caught on, everyone will want to be claiming that these pictures are theirs. Well they ARE NOT. I took them and started this international craze.

LET IT BEGIN. TWEETIES.

Feel free to send in any photos you take of ceramic tweetie birds. Once I hit 20 I am going to make a website and go viral with this junk.

I have another photo-hunt goal I will show you later in the week.

I get this kind of stuff all the time in my “comments spam.” And none of the links lead anywhere. Who spends their days spamming nonsense? I don’t even get a lousy virus with these. So strange.

I was trying to make an online store, and it didn’t work right. So I decided to update Wordpress to the newest version. And somehow I managed to lose everything. But at least I got the site back to lookin super pretty.

I’m gonna try to figure out how to find all the lost posts. But fear not. All the videos are still up on Vimeo. And no one read the things I actually wrote anyways. If you want to see my stuff, all the links are to the right.